I have always asked myself a lot of standard questions and what-ifs about my marriage. Sometimes, there is too much a person can handle. Often I asked, “Did I marry the wrong person”?
When you assume that you’re stuck in a loveless, sexless marriage, you conjure a pretty big assumption. And it’s one that society tells us is natural. We’re supposed to be with someone because we love them, and they’re supposed to make us happy and feel power. But what if you’re not? What if you married the wrong person? What are the telltale signs?
Well, allow me to share my experiences and story.
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Marriage
It was a cold, lonely night at the park when I met Joan. She was a tall woman with golden locks, porcelain skin, and a body that other individuals would die to have. I did not pay attention to her too much when I saw her from a distance because… well, I never had any luck with someone that gorgeous before. For me, it’s all for the wrong reasons.
It was a cold, lonely night at the park when I met Joan before we got hitched. She was a tall woman with golden locks, porcelain skin, and a body that most people would die to have. I did not pay attention to her too much when I saw her from a distance because… well, I never had any luck with someone that gorgeous before.
Neither did I imagine getting hitched to someone as beautiful as her. Getting on the same page as her and becoming her best friend is something that helps with emotional beings.
But at that course of a moment, I realize I wanted to feel overwhelmed with a married life and we, can be prospective husband and wife. I imagine us living in a suburban house with our kids. I imagine us beginning to grow closer every morning, fix things accordingly, and live a better relationship day by day.
So, it’s no secret that making the wrong choices in our lives can lead to some pretty disastrous consequences. The same can be said for relationships and marriages. If you find yourself wondering whether or not you married the wrong one, then it’s important to pay attention to some key signs and points that may indicate that your relationship isn’t as healthy as it should happen to be.
One of the most telling signs that you may have married the wrong person is if you find yourself in constant wonder about what could have been and expect nothing. If you find yourself seeking the company of your best friend friends more often than that of your spouse, then it’s a sign that something is definitely wrong.
It’s natural to want to talk to people who make us feel good about ourselves, so if you’re married to someone who doesn’t make you feel good and is struggling with suffering, then it’s not a healthy relationship.
My Life As An Army Soldier
I am an amputee now, you see. My legs had to be cut off clean when an improvised explosive device (IED) exploded during one of my duties as an army soldier in Afghanistan. They could have been saved if I got treated them immediately.
I can tell you that I am not an easy type of individual because of the sense of self-control and I lost interest in a lot of things already, which is probably why I wedded quickly when I saw Elle.
This is why I wondered if my wife would ask herself, “Have I not matched with the right individual?” It’s probably sinking feelings of having me in someone’s life as the wrong ingredient.
Had my new legless situation ever mistakenly depressed me or my family life somehow?
Technically, no. There may be challenges in life, but I know my relationship and marriage is the only ingredient for my mental and emotional hope and survival. It’s a Christian perspective, I guess.
Dating the Wrong Person?
Initially, when I met Elle, the one I wedded, I wondered if I marry the wrong person and thought about a point of a fairy tale love story.
The only thing that made me sad one too many times was that it became extremely challenging to find a person who would want to date me, more so marry me. Thus, I’m pulling the reality of union topic back to that eventful early dinner date night that led to why I got wedded.
Is She The Right One For Me?
I was deep in my thoughts in front of the artificial river when somebody fake-coughed behind me. When I seek around, I saw that same gorgeous individual smiling at me.
Joan was a funny and insightful individual. Her character was enlightening so I did not notice that we had been talking until midnight. On our way out, I took a chance and asked for Joan’s number.
Sadly, Joan replied, “As much as I want to continue communicating with you, my work visa will expire in less than a month. I will have to go back to Sweden, so we may not meet again.”
That stumped me. Sweden would be easy to visit, but long travels were a bit tete-a-tete troublesome in my current physical state. Still, I insisted on staying in touch with Joan and seeing her again for the remainder of her time in the country.
The Proposal
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On Joan’s last week in the US, we were both sad and quiet because of her impending departure. Then, one night, it just occurred to me to ask for her hand in union so she could stay here for good. I was super nervous as I planned my proposal, but I became the happiest man on earth when she said yes to marrying me. So we got matched and I never imagined asking myself one day if I wedded the right individual.
We held the ceremony at a chapel and fixed her papers.
Meeting My Family Once And For All As My Wife
Union And Family
I honestly believed that Joan and I would live happily ever after the recently read matrimony. We settled her documentation first, which was a breeze. Once that was done, I finally brought my newly wedded bride to my childhood home so that she could meet my parents and two older sisters. This was the right individual, I thought to myself. We’re finally married couples.
That’s when things began to unravel. My family was initially shocked about my rash decision, but I explained that I wedded out of love. My sisters tried everything to make Joan feel welcomed, and I was glad to see Joan seemingly getting along with them as my wife.
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When we went home that night, though, my wife could not stop thinking and talking about my sisters’ gold accessories. She was like, “Did you see that 5-carat diamond on Elle’s finger? Oh, my!” or “I love Cece’s necklace!”
I did not think much about it, but it made me want to buy all those things for Joan. A few days later, though, the entire family was out for lunch because my eldest sister, Elle, wanted to celebrate our matrimony. Elle was an old-fashioned individual and brought cash everywhere instead of a credit card.
When you spend your life with someone for many years, you tend to get used to their presence. You become accustomed to the way they look, the way they act, and the crazy moments, culture, peace, and happiness you shared together.
So the truth is, when that person is no longer in your dear life, it can be a shock. It can be hard to adjust to the change. Surely, you may feel a lot of worries and fear.
Was my wife awfully accused? No, she wasn’t.
We were all having fun and making jokes when Elle rummaged in her bag for the money and came up with half the amount she brought. She said she lost one thousand bucks. We eventually informed the staff about it as my sister insisted that she had the money when we all sat down. There was a CCTV camera close to us, and a manager invited us to their security room to see the footage.
Unfortunately for me, the video showed my new wife reaching into my sister’s bag while chatting away and bundling it up and putting it in her back pocket.
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So, as it turned out, I married the wrong person. I realized I didn’t know this woman that I stayed with.
NOTE: Please be informed that this is the first part of a two-part blog about how I am married to the wrong person.
Stay tuned for how we resolved the matter.
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